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After everything that has happened. From start to finish he’s lured me here to there. I’d do anything for him and he takes me for granted. Why…? Why do I constantly fall for his cries and pleas? Why do I continue to love him? What makes him so special from the rest of the band, in which I could have at any moment? What makes him different from everyone else in the world? For seven long months he and I have been playing this… this… this game of ‘do you love me?’ If he can’t find anyone he comes to me but as soon as I’m not looking he’s running off with some other person and then I turn back around and there he is handing me the keys to my apartment back. Every time. It hurts… does he have no idea what it means to be hurt like this? Well I’ve had it! I’m not going to be hurt by his little ass anymore!

There’s a knock at the door. I don’t want to answer it. It might be him and I don’t want to see him. Unfortunately, I removed myself from the couch and opened the door to find Nao and Hiroto stand there. I gave Nao the best smile I could muster, but with Hiroto…. Hiroto standing there, that smile turned into a sour face. I moved to the side and allowed both to enter. Hiroto had his head down and refused to look up at me. He didn’t need to look up to see where he was going, seeing as how he used to live in my apartment.

“I’m sorry to bring Hiroto here Tora, but Saga hurt Hiroto pretty badly--” Nao had started. “it’s fine. You can go home Nao. I’ll deal with Hiroto myself.” I had said with almost… a vicious tone of voice. Nao bowed his head and quickly left, leaving Hiroto standing still as he could be and starring at the floor like a child was being lectured. I began to slowly pace around him knowing I had the upper hand to Hiroto’s problems. He would come crawling back to me, and like normal, I’d accept, coddle him and things would go back to usual standings. Not this time, I refuse to let it happen. After all the pain he’s put me through, I’m not going to let it happen again.

I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pain though… no matter how much I was infuriated with him. I wanted to hug him and coddle him like I had always done… it’s all I know. His expressionless face finally lifted to look at me and without words he was speaking. Saying things like he was sorry and it’d never happen again. It was a lie. What a god damn lie! “Don’t give me that face!” I demanded, turning away from the little guitarist. “I’m sorry Tora… I--” I interrupted, “No you aren’t Hiroto! How many times have you gone off and cheated on me and returned with those same exact lines. ‘I’m sorry Tora. It’ll never happen again!’ A bunch of bullshit! The first time it happened was with Ruki. Then he disappeared! Then you ran off to several different… different… clones of me! And a few Saga’s and even an Aoi! What do you want to believe now!? You’re sorry after countless times of cheating?! I don’t thinks so Hiroto Ogata!”

His expressionless face finally gave way and I could see the utter hurt in his face. He never expected me to backfire on him after all this time. I wasn’t his sugar daddy anymore.  I wasn’t some toy anymore. I wanted my grounds and I wasn’t going let him come back unless we did some serious talking and getting shit through his thick, little skull. He wanted to cry, and so did I. I suppressed the tears I had. I wasn’t ready to let all the emotions flood out of me, yet. He on the other hand, used his tears against me. It normally worked, but this time… this time I was refusing to let it get to me. I immediately snapped my head away. “don’t try your tears Hiroto. They aren’t going to work!”

I could feel one shaking hand lift to touch my arm and to prevent myself from turning around and embracing him I snapped my arm away. “Don’t touch me.” I said, sounding hurt, though… the tone didn’t come out right. Hiroto could hear the tears forming and used it to his advantage. “Tora… I know you don’t want to deny me. I know you love me, and I fucked things up countless times, but if you have it in your heart to forgive me one last time, I promise I won’t fuck it up!” he pleaded. I didn’t want to hear the plea but I listened anyway. What made it so hard to deny him? I’m not even looking at him and it’s hard to not embrace him and make him feel better. “I don’t understand Hiroto. What was it that they had… that I didn’t? You told me many times I gave you everything you wanted… what wasn’t I giving you?” my voice was cracking and I was ready to give in. He didn’t answer, I honestly don’t think he had an answer. He lowered the arm to his side and lowered his head, returning his face to the emotionless expression. An awkward silence fell between the both of us and finally I could hear the sound of sobs coming from behind me. Was he really crying, or was he just faking those tears like he normally did? I wanted to turn around and look, but I knew… I knew the moment I did, I might fall into his trap.

“Stop crying Hiroto. You aren’t a baby!” I snapped quickly darting into another room. I sat on the bed and starred at the two pillows. One for me… and one for Hiroto. No. No, he’s not coming back. I won’t let him. I tore my eyes away from the pillows and starred at the cracked door, still hearing the loud sobs from my previous lover. How I wanted to just sweep him off his feet and carry him to bed, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. His sobs didn’t seem to dye down, and I was starting to get a gut feeling that those were real tears and not the tears that he normally used just to make me give in. I moved to the cracked door and allowed my eyes to peek out at Hiroto. He was resting on his knees, bent over and face covered with his hands. My hardened expression was melting and I could feel it in my heart to want him again.

I figured it out. I figured out why I continue to let him treat me like this, and continue to allow him to come back to me. Despite everything he’s put me through, he does seem to love me. Just watching him, watching those tears slip through his hands and onto the floor, it seemed like he couldn’t sob any harder to prove how much he was sorry and he loved me. Now I understand why I gave way so easily, and took him every moment I had. He was trouble waiting to happen, but with a little help, things would be different.

I slipped from the room and towards Hiroto. I stood stiff in front of him, letting him rest in that bent position until he finally lifted his upper body and tilted his head back. I starred at down at him with the most solemn and serious face I could muster. His eyes were bloodshot red and his face was dry and wet full of his own tears. “stand up Hiroto.” my voice was cracking more and I needed to say my piece before I caved completely. Without hesitation Hiroto did as he was told and  wiped the tears from his saddened face. There was silence again for several moments until I finally spoke. “You, have no idea what it’s like… to not be loved like you are loved Hiroto. Have no idea. You have no idea what it’s like to stand back and watch the one you love more than anything run around with other men then come crawling back I was just… some toy. if I take you in again, this… coming and going shall never happen again, otherwise, I will walk out on you for good.” I tried to sound as serious as I could, trying not to speak wit a crack in my voice. I was giving in as the seconds passed, watching Hiroto’s expressions alter from extreme misery to hope. “I…I promise it’ll never happen again Shinji.” he covered his face as if ashamed of his mistakes. He should be ashamed of what he’s done and put people through, but then again I have no room to talk for falling for his traps every single time.

I starred at his covered face before I lifted one hand to run through his hair to attempt to ease the crying. I finally caved in. I couldn’t stand his tears anymore. I couldn’t stand watching him actually be hurt. I wanted him to understand I was serious on my words but I wanted him to understand that I was giving him last shot because I truly loved him. I used my other hand to remove Hiroto’s hands from his face and place it under his chin. I tilted his head back so he could look at me. “one last chance Hiroto.” I whispered before leaning in and pressing our pouting lips together. In seconds I could feel Hiroto’s arms lace around my neck and my arms slither around the little one’s waist.

I loved him and I was giving him one last chance…
hello everyone ^^; i erm.. ish new to deviant art.

okay okay.. so i'm not new i just hven't been around in a bajillion years because other things caught my interest. anyways i thought I'd come back return with a small fanfic I wrote a month or so ago.
there's a note or two you need to know about this.

it was written based of role playing. I am a role player. and there's something written in here about one of the characters running off with several clones of someone. well where I role play.. there are several clones of that particular Japanese artist.

otherwise. this piece of work is actually my cutest i've written. I actually tend to write a lot more smuttier things but to start off i think I would do something... cute.

Disclaimer: I am not Tora nor Hiroto, nor any other artist that appears in this piece.
:iconninja-x33:
ninja-x33 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2010
this was so sad ;_; *tears up*
TT_TT
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:iconpirrulovesthegazette:
PirruLovesTheGazettE Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2010
awwww this is really cute^^
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:iconuchiha-sasuke-2306:
Uchiha-Sasuke-2306 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg that was soooo sad TT-TT You better not screw up Hiroto!!!

yay another roleplayer!! its awfully fun, don't you think?

anyway really liked things *fav'd*
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June 30, 2008
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